fonetik films : profiles

Firstly, I won't talk about my stint at the Johnny Young Talent School. It never happened. And I never missed football training to go to singing and dancing classes. After junior triumphs, my macho football career was cut tragically short by hamstrings, shoulders and groins, and similarly hindered by a lack of support, luck, height, speed and talent.

I have since harnessed my bitterness from this era (particularly towards Central Dragons FC, Ray 'Slug' Jordan and EDFL Selection Committee) and directed it toward a career in academia specifically designed to prolong my childhood and keep me institutionalized. I have, in turn, employed my escapist anti-qualities in the writing of my solipsistic doctoral thesis, in which I use personal experience to inform my analysis of the escapist themes in the fiction of Martin Amis. Prior to this, I completed a rare triple degree in Arts/Commerce/Procrastination.

I have also received international notoriety as the inspiration and life model for the animated super-hero, Undyboy: Lord of the Y-Front. I am addicted to books and picture frames, and am scared of heights, cheesecake and the letter 'r'. I am organist with an un-named, un-gigged, un-giggable band, unlikely to be seen at a venue near you! I have close but unfaithful relationships with Visa, Amex and Citibank, and have taken up low-interest balance transfers that allow me to juggle these lovers almost indefinitely. The film industry is my last chance at success and solvency...Please give generously.

Influences - Authors: Amis, McEwan, Nabokov; Directors: Kubrick, Lynch; Musicians: Lennon, Cohen

Kym Logan